I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
