we're chasing vodka with high fives
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Congratulations! We have a period
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
