i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
