The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize