too bad you live with your parents still
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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