she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
