i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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