So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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