u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
