I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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