do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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