At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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