I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
