She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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