you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
