tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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