we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
