seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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