Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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