Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
