i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i think i just lost a toe
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