the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would ride that face into the sunset
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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