haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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