I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
