I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
