marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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