How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
