Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
