so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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