I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
