I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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