would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
