At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
