he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
