I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
