I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
