Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
