That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
