I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
