I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
