How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
