her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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