Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
