Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
