I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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