who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize