and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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