I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
