You work out of a Hotel?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
