hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
