idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
