I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
