I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
