What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
