i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
where are my eyebrows?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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