there's paper in my vomit.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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