ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
