i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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