My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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