you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
