It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
