garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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