And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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