Your tits are I can't wait for
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
