Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
