There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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