Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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