oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
