chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
