He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize