Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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