she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
