Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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