Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
