I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
